how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
