I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize