OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
