What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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