so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
