True but thats because hes a fetus.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I think your dad took our porno
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
