whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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