What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He felt like a one man threesome
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize