Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(855): View more from

somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs

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(618): View more from Illinois

do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?

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(253): View more from Washington

I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.

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(510): View more from California

just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?

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(716): View more from New York

Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.

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(678): View more from Georgia

We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle

(1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

Haha, Tuesday man

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?

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