sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Randomize
