This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Don't EVER smell your tampon
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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