Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
