ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
