Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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