You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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