When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
