Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
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