Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
