Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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