hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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