I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize