so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
