Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
