And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Randomize
