I think I died a long time ago.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I have fence marks all over my body
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
The ass gains better be worth it
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
