I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
