no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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