i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Randomize
