I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
