she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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