Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I showed him my bush... on skype.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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