lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
