you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
