I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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