his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Randomize
