There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm getting married
To pizza
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
