yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Randomize
