on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
The adults are the big ones right?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
