Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
there was a trapeze. enough said
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
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