dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize