My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Bring me that man meat
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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