just come out here and I will go home with you...
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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