Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
