i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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