I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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