Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize