Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
