They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
