i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
