Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
