You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
