is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
