I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
accomplished twins. life is a go
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize