My brain says no but my pants say off.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
