Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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