operation harelip BJ is a go
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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