So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
