i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize
