There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
